Treat Yourself with Love & Respect
The key is practice. Every time you catch yourself being mean to yourself, stop, interrupt yourself, and choose a different response. The same goes with your diet, exercise plan, and all other aspects of self-care. Finding a way to do them lovingly, rather than self-critically (“I’m so fat!” “I’m so lazy!” “I’m so undisciplined!”) is a crucial part of reversing chronic stress.
Our ultimate goal is to treat ourselves with love and respect, providing our bodies, minds, emotions, and spirits with the care and nurturing that they need. If at the moment that sounds too challenging, let’s take it down a notch. Just notice how you talk to and treat yourself. Then, if you have the opportunity, interrupt yourself whenever you hear the mean or overly critical inner monologue and choose a different response.
Adrenal-Friendly Do’s and Don’ts
Here are a few concrete suggestions for how you might begin:
DO take a self-inventory to identify your “critics” and come up with some positive, nurturing messages to replace the harsh ones. We all have those voices in our heads, the ones we created after listening to our mother, our father, our teachers, maybe an older brother or sister, the voices telling us we’re not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, not enough. The people who spoke to us as children probably had no idea how powerful their words would be — but here we are, years later, repeating those same old criticisms to ourselves and reliving the hurt again and again. Identifying these voices and figuring out where they come from takes away a great deal of their power. Creating supportive messages to replace the critical ones can do wonders for our physical as well as our emotional health.
DO commit to asking for and accepting help. Many of us feel the entire world resting upon our shoulders. Even if we have supportive friends or an active partner, we still tend to feel that the major responsibility for the household, the family, the community, the tasks at work, and that that there’s no one to whom we can delegate, no one on whom we can lean. If you recognize yourself in this description, start to break the pattern. Identify people — friends, family, loved ones, colleagues — on whom you can rely and start asking for and accepting their help. You’ll feel better — and your health will show the difference.
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DO notice who in your life is truly helpful and supportive — and who is not. Sometimes, when we become aware of our internal critics, we realize that some of the people around us are echoing those voices and supporting our most negative self-image. If you’re starting to see that those around you don’t truly support you, it may be time to make some changes. You deserve a support system of caring people who see you as valuable and lovable, and who always leave you feeling better about yourself. If this is not true of many of the people in your life, it may be time to make some changes in your support system.
DO commit to making time for your own needs. Taking 15 minutes a day to do “nothing” might be the best thing you could ever do for your health. Would you be surprised to learn that for many of my patients — and maybe even for you, too — it’s the hardest to follow of all my suggestions? If you can’t take 15, take 5. If you can’t take 5, take a minute — 60 seconds — that is all about you, you, you. I promise, your adrenals will be grateful.
DON’T say anything to yourself that you might not say to a girlfriend. “You’re so stupid!” “You’re so fat!” “You look awful today!” “Why can’t you do anything right?” Would you speak that way to anyone, let alone someone you cared about? No? Then why talk that way to yourself?
DON’T make your diet a punishment. Eat foods that are really delicious and that you really enjoy. You don’t have to live on raw celery and bean sprouts — there are plenty of healthy but delectable choices.
DON’T push yourself too hard. If vigorous workouts leave you energized and refreshed, they are helping you to improve your health. But if your exercise routine leaves you feeling exhausted, choose something less strenuous: a leisurely bike ride, a slow swim, even a 20-minute stroll. Many of my patients protest that they have the willpower and discipline to push through the exhaustion, but that’s part of the problem: If your adrenals aren’t functioning properly, pushing them harder will only make things worse. What you’re looking for is not more stress but a balanced, gentle approach to exercise.
Change Is Possible
As we conclude this chapter, I’d like to leave you with the words of Columbia University psychiatrist and researcher Norman Doidge, author of The Brain That Changes Itself. He stated at a recent neuroscience conference, “The plasticity of the brain is the most important scientific discovery in the past 400 years.” As Hoffman Institute president Raz Hoffman commented, “Why is this such an important discovery? Because it means that we can grow and change throughout our life span. Change is not only possible; it is an aspect of the structure of our brain.”
In other words, our brains were meant to change, and that means that they can change. And once we change our brains, it’s only a small next step to change our bodies — and our lives.
This article was excerpted with permission from the book:
Are You Tired and Wired? Your Proven 30-Day Program for Overcoming Adrenal Fatigue and Feeling Fantastic Again
by Marcelle Pick.
Excerpted with permission of the publisher, Hay House Inc. www.hayhouse.com
Click here for more info or to order this book.
About the Author
Marcelle Pick is a member of the American Nurses Association, American Nurse Practitioner Association and American Holistic Nurses Association. She has served as Medical Advisor to Healthy Living Magazine, lectured on a variety of topics — including “Alternative Strategies to Healing” and “Body Image” — and appears regularly on television to discuss women’s health. In her practice, she undertakes a holistic approach that not only treats illness, but also helps women make choices in their lives to prevent disease. Visit her website: www.WomenToWomen.com
